Life as an adopted teenager is kind of like a puzzle. There’s this picture of who you want to be, but you’re not quite sure how the pieces fit. And you’re not sure where to begin.
You have some pieces that you know and others you don’t. You have some pieces you want to find, but don’t know how. You have some pieces you wish you didn’t have. And you have some pieces that you’re not sure how they fit or why they’re even there.
It is the same with Pieces of Me – there is no one, best way to put the puzzle of who you are and who you want to be together. In fact, there are many, many ways.
That is why we – and many others from around the world – put this book together. We want you to know that there are many ways to put the puzzle of who you are together, there are many ways to fit your pieces together. And only you can figure it out.
But most importantly, there are voices just like your own – adoptive teenagers who are from different countries, look different than their families, have experienced the foster care system, have reunited with birth families, have returned to birth culture, enjoy being adopted, hate being adopted, have been abused, have loving families, own pets, do art, love music, like to travel, have career goals, have no idea who they want to be, have children, never want to have kids . . . well, you get the idea.
They are just people . . . people who are adopted and are trying to figure out where their pieces fit.
We’ve broken the book into five basic sections, relating to your adoption journey and relating to puzzles. There’s Stolen Pieces, those pieces of ourselves that have been taken away from us. There’s Gathering the Pieces, those pieces that we’re trying to find and connect. There’s Fitting the Pieces, those pieces that we’ve figured out. There’s Sharing the Pieces, when who we are meets the rest of the world, sometimes with success and sometimes with disaster. And there’s Where Do These Pieces Go?, those pieces that you just have no idea what to do with.
It’s like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. Except that it’s not, because it is about figuring out the pieces of you.
And, like a real-life puzzle, this book doesn’t have one best way to read it. You can start at the beginning and read to the end. You can read from the end to the beginning. You can start in the middle. You can read a story one day and a poem the next. You can try one of the activities to help you figure it out or you can express yourself on one of the blank pages . . or any of the pages for that matter – it’s your book!
It doesn’t matter how you read it, and it doesn’t matter how you fit your pieces. It just matters that you are working toward figuring it, for yourself.
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Inner Soul – Chloe Berger, 15 years
My inner identity has been discovered
As my shadow has traveled to a new place.
My hair is still dark. I am still short.
Yet something has changed, it's different.
A new piece of the thousand piece puzzle – found!
I know who I am by looking above
I am Latina, I am Jewish, I am Mayan
Looking at the stars from the window
Looking at the stars from Antigua
My identity has chased itself in one big universal spin and twirl.
I can be both parts of the day.
I can be the sun or the moon.
I can be a bird or a fish.
I can be Latina and Jewish.
But what I have come to discover
What I have come to realize
Is that in reality I am only one thing
I am unique, I am me.
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Who Am I?
By Jonathan Riley
I might not be exactly who you think I am. Living not knowing who my real parents may be feels like a leech, keeping the very thought of comfort away, latching onto every vulnerability in my mind, and popping up in the worst possible moments. This is the life I live. It feels like I’m in the middle of nowhere searching for people that I don’t even know, much less what their names are. I feel concealed and unknown behind a blurred tapestry, unable to share my thoughts with others. When I open myself up to people, I get the feeling that if I tell them something, they might tell others what I said in a less accurate way and make my thoughts appear negative. This makes me fearful of what I say to others, even my friends.
There are many things in life that I can’t change, such as the way I look. I was born in the Philippines, which is a cluster of islands off the coast of China but still is considered a country, and I was adopted. I may look different from others and often feel that is the way they judge me. Some people look deep inside me and make friends with the real me. But others mistake my appearance and tease me in every possible way. Sometimes people try to get to know me and when they know me too much, they try to get inside me, exposing weaknesses I have, and the worst possible insult that ever was given to me was about me not fitting into my family.
One thing that differentiates me from other people is my unique talents; I'm a singer whom possesses a massive amount of expression. I'm fairly agile and strong which, in my case, categorizes me as a gymnast. I have a talent that I don’t usually let the world recognize, an ear for music, not any kind of rap, hip hop, or anything like that. But if you tell me the name of a song you know from a famous movie like Star Wars, give me a day or two and I can play most of the piano music for it, without the sheet music. I possess my own distinctive talents that make me project to the world. But some people don’t accept me for who I am.
Even though I don’t know my real parents, I know one thing, I am really lucky to have a family such as the one I have now. I have the most caring family I could ever ask for in a million and six years. My mom cares for me when I'm sick, takes me to gym and school every day, helps me when I need assistance and is trustworthy and lovable. My dad is awesome. He lets me play video games, lets me go to movies with him, and is a great guy. My sister is another unique person that is of great importance in my life. She has a disease called Tuberous Sclerosis and it affects her learning, growth and emotions. She had 21 tubers in different parts in her brain, she had seizures every night and she’d even have some in the day. Recently, she had brain surgery and they removed 2 tubers from her brain which were causing the seizures. Thankfully it went well and she is doing great. I was praying for her all the way.
I am glad because I have friends and family that care for me and help me when times are rough and things go wrong. I put my faith and trust into each and every one of them and thank God for giving me a great life and I will enjoy it while it lasts.
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